Cola revolution in Kerala

By John Cheeran
It's been a tradition in Kerala that you have to mix your rum with Coke or Pepsi before gulping it down.
In the good old days it was Thumbs' Up that did the trick. Since Marxists have declared that 'Let there be no Coke and Pepsi' I have no choice but to go back to good old Thumbs Up now.
It is a small mercy that the CPI (M) government has not banned other soft drinks that are manufactured and marketed from the Coke and Pepsi stables.
Marxists are much like Miguel de Cervantes' Don Quixote.
They prefer to tilt at windmills instead of real enemy.
The day's ace Marxist, Comrade V S Achuthanandan, is happy to declare war on Coke and Pepsi, which are but only two prominent symbols of the larger bottled drinks market.What about Thumbs Up, Limca, Fanta and other assorted stuff?
What about the pesticide content in these drinks?
And what about the mineral water market?
I have two suggestions to the Cola Comrades in Kerala.
Allow Coke and Pepsi to be in the market with a statutory warning that says drinking Coke and Pepsi can be injurious to your health, much like the warning on cigarette packets. And those who are in cahoots with multinationals, let them die drinking Coke and Pepsi while we comrades can shout slogans against globalization.
But, I believe, none of the liquor bottles in India carry a statutory warning though drinking booze is quite a dangerous habit than drinking Coke and Pepsi.
I'm afraid that the CPI (M) Politburo will not endorse my statutory warning suggestion. So I'm coming up with another idea that might find many takers in the Politburo, led by Prakash Karat.
Since Marxists are very much into market philosophy with the party running television channels and amusement parks, I suggest them to start a new, people friendly Cola, manufactured, marketed and tested by comrades.
CPI (M) can brand it Marxist-Cola and can claim to world's first people friendly soft drink. Marxist-Cola presents a win-win situation for CPI (M).
It can take the battle into the turf of multinationals and beat them at their own game. And by running its own bottling plants and having an own marketing arm, the CPI (M) can feed its cadre by reserving jobs for them.
But one thing -- Politburo should direct both the VS and Pinarayi Vijayan campfollowers to be united at least in drinking the Marxist-Cola.
Please welcome the Cola Revolution.