All cricketers are idiots; ask Dale Steyn

By John Cheeran
People believe all cricketers are idiots. They are not so, if you go by what South African bowler Dale Steyn said the other day in Durban.
Steyn is the first cricketer to nail the lie that surrounds the Twenty 20 Indian Premier League.
IPL is all about money. We knew it all along. So is all life. So what’s the big deal, and what’s the surprise?
The surprise is that none was wiling to say so.
People talked about how IPL and Twenty20 were redefining cricket, and how given enough time, it would eclipse all other sport in global popularity chart.
Meanwhile someone was finding the busty cheer girls
offensive, and their gyrations obscene. But money was not obscene; it was Lakshmi, and it was quit okay.
Now allow me to quote Steyn on the phenomenon of IPL.
“The IPL was only four overs a game and it was like a paid holiday; you only had to work hard if you felt like it, which is probably why we finished second-last."
More truthful words were never spoken concerning cricket.
Indeed, it was paid holiday for Steyn and other mercenaries from South Africa who added up to make Bangalore Royal Challengers, one of the bottom-rung finishers in the IPL.
(I’m sure the king of good times Vijay Mallya would have told about Steyn’s paid holiday in India.)
Now the thing is that, can’t the truth about IPL be applicable in Fifty 50 one-dayers and in that dowdy Test matches as well?
In Test matches, though it lasts five days, half the time you are sleeping in the dressing room because your side is batting. And while fielding you don’t bowl more than 15 overs in a day. You can go out and relax in the dressing room, if you have the right excuse. Food and beverages are free also.
And what about rain delays and wet outfields?
And after five days you have the honourable option of holding your heads high, though you were completely outplayed, thanks to the draw.
So the paid holiday works there as well.
But what saddens me is that Steyn eventually chose to plead idiocy and take back his truthful words, brainwashed by some public relations experts.
Truth is bad for cricket, the PR guys have convinced
the callow South African fast bowler.
So Steyn returned to where he started.
“I am an idiot,” says Steyn.
Yes, we know, poor South African boy.
All cricketers are idiots.
And what about those who watched the IPL matches?
I can’t wait for the second edition of the Lalit Modi show.

Dravid, the Jesus Christ of Indian cricket

By John Cheeran
Finally Royal Challenge tasted a drop of victory in Chennai against Chennai Super Kings and that should go a long way to rejuvenate the harried side, led by Rahul Dravid.
And quickly let me tell you what I consider as having played a major factor in Challenge’s win? There was no Zaheer Khan. On many occasions during the IPL, Zaheer’s utterly erratic bowling has let the Bangalore side down and (I know Zaheer is one of the leading wicket takers in the IPL with 13 or so wickets to his name but the point that in not one game has he troubled batsmen or had an impact on the game.)

Having said that, the 14-run was largely plotted by the indefatigable Anil Kumble who derailed the supremely confident Super Kings with a 3./14 spell and won the man of the match award.

And how can one ignore Rahul Dravid’s innings of 47, the highest in the match on either side, It is no secret that I admire Rahul Dravid , the man and batsman. The more I get to watch him, the more I get the feeling that here is the Jesus Christ of Indian cricket. Every time Dravid walks out to bat it seems he carries the burden of the world and is going to be sacrificed so that his team and his world can be redeemed. And looking at the reckless of ways of his teammates Dravid must be mumbling those celebrated words:: ”Lord forgive them for they know not what they are doing.”

And finally after too many slings and arrows of fortune, Royal Challenge can think that they are right now one better than Deccan Chargers.