Have a laugh....1

Editor's note: I'm desperately in need of humour.
I have found some jokes swirling on the net and thought posting them here would help spread the cheer around...

On marriage
I recently read that love is entirely a matter of chemistry.
That must be why my wife treats me like toxic waste. -David Bissonette
By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher. -Socrates
Woman inspires us to great things, and prevents us from achieving them. -Dumas
The great question... which I have not been able to answer... is, "What does a woman want?
-Sigmund Freud
I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me. -Anonymous
"I don't worry about terrorism. I was married for two years." -Sam Kinison
"There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It's called marriage." -James Holt McGavran
"I've had bad luck with both my wives. The first one left me and the second one didn't."
-Patrick Murray
Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming 1. Whenever you're wrong, Admit it,
2. Whenever you're right, shut up. -Nash
You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to. -Henny Youngman
A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong. -Milton Berle